30-SOMETHING, SINGLE, BUT NOT SEARCHING…

30-SOMETHING, SINGLE, BUT NOT SEARCHING…

When I was in med school, a respected elder visited me in my hostel and she literally drew a sketch of how my life should be like. She said I should not think of marriage at that time and just face my studies; finish the 6-year course, the 1-year internship, the 4- to 6-year residency and then – only then – I can start talking about marriage! I pretended as if I agreed with her, but deep down, I knew that my heart was already 50% medicine and 50% marriage. I did the math and found out that, should I follow that suggestion, I would be 30+ before I get married.

I’m not here to make anyone feel bad about their fate or personal choices. But I know that delaying marriage for flimsy reasons is frowned at in Islaam as well as many other cultures. Science has also shown that, the biological clock of a woman begins to wear out from 31 and above. Her eggs begin to deteriorate (because they have been sitting in her ovaries even before she was born!), conception becomes a hassle and the risk of fetal abnormalities becomes higher.

This probably explains why the society seems to be fixated on that 30-year mark for young women (and men too). The pressure continues to mount on them; sometimes pushing them to marry just to avoid the embarrassment, not because they’ve actually found the “right one”. And no, I’m not endorsing the embarrassment, but we need to strike a balance…

My one cent: If marriage and childbearing is part of your plans in life, I advise you to do it ASAP. Not too early. Not too late. But somewhere reasonable in between.

BY KHADIJAH SANNI-TIJANI KT
©2016

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One comment on “30-SOMETHING, SINGLE, BUT NOT SEARCHING…

  1. Pingback: 30-SOMETHING, SINGLE, BUT NOT SEARCHING… | remrevolution1's Blog

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